Awareness is the key to reducing domestic violence, says a local expert on the topic. And awareness starts with people engaged in an intimate relationship—whether married or cohabitating—asking themselves tough questions. “Does domestic violence exist in my home and what can I do about it?,” Allen McBride said. McBride is a facilitator with Alternatives to Violence (ATV), a program of Pee Dee Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Assault. The program is certified by the South Carolina Department of Social Services to provide domestic violence offender intervention throughout the Pee Dee Region. From July 2010 through June 2011, the ATV program enrolled 466 participants.
In group sessions, McBride’s role is to teach participants how to express their feelings respectfully without resorting to abuse or violence. Many participants grew up witnessing domestic abuse or violence and believe that is an acceptable or normal way to cope with their emotions. So the domestic violence cycle continues.
What are the chances of persons involved in an abusive relationship or domestic violence asking themselves those tough questions and getting help? “If you do nothing about your situation, nothing will change,” said McBride. “Some victims get out of the relationship before it’s too late; others may be financially dependent on the batterer so they cannot afford to leave. Other victims are afraid to confront their significant other due to fear of retaliation that escalates into more abuse or violence.”
McBride said in some cases victims are forced to believe they are in a no-win situation. “But the Pee Dee Coalition crisis hot line may be the solution. Victims may call the hot line and get quick and viable solutions.” The hot line number is 843-669-4600 or 1-800-273-1820. McBride said some of his participants come voluntarily because their significant other says they are leaving if their partner does not get help. However, most of the participants in ATV are court ordered.
McBride said it’s important for any person in a relationship to learn effective conflict resolution techniques, to identify what abuse is, and to remove oneself from the relationship before potential violence occurs. At the heart of domestic abuse and violence is the need for the abuser to exert power and control over the victim. The abuser may exert power and control through various forms of abuse such as physical, sexual, emotional and destruction of pets/property. In addition, abusers may withhold financial support or abuse children to exert power and control over their victim.
McBride says parents also need to make sure they are modeling appropriate ways of dealing with frustration and anger. In the meantime, he believes public schools need to teach conflict resolution classes so youth learn these skills as well as what constitutes a healthy relationship.
In addition to the ATV program, Pee Dee Coalition’s ROAR program (Reducing Our Assault Risk) provides teens and young adults with practical ways for reducing one’s risk of victimization.
Information on Pee Dee Coalition’s ROAR Program:
-Presentation topics include: stalking, date rape or dating violence.
-Presentations available to both young men and women in academic or social group settings.
-The information helps young men understand such issues as “No means No” and the long-term results in arrest and conviction.
-ROAR also addresses issues surrounding date rape such as alcohol and drug use, communication skills, dating with a group, first date behavior, and establishing a safety plan.
What you can do to help
– Contact your local law enforcement agency for an emergency.
-Educate yourself on domestic abuse and domestic violence–check out the following domestic violence web sites: www.peedeecoalition.org, www.ncadv.org or www.sccadvasa.org.
-Support domestic abuse/violence organizations through monetary or in-kind contributions.
-Volunteer time with the Pee Dee Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Assault.
-Talk to a child about appropriate ways to express feelings of anger and frustration.
-Offer support and referral to domestic violence victims.
-Distribute awareness materials in public places such as doctor’s offices, beauty salons, etc.
-Call the Pee Dee Coalition to arrange for speakers on domestic violence/domestic assault issues at churches, civic groups or other community organizations.
-Refer an offender for counseling or assistance.
Throughout the month of October, Pee Dee Coalition will be sponsoring events to increase awareness, reach out to victims, and demonstrate how the community can help victims and their families.
The Coalition also encourages community members and businesses to wear or display a purple ribbon to signify their support of local efforts to end domestic violence.
If you would like more information, contact Pee Dee Coalition at 669-4694 or visit the website at http://www.peedeecoalition.org.