Life is full of surprises, undoubtedly one reason why we hold on to it so dearly.  We want to know what’s coming up next and find the unexpected somewhat exciting.  Most of the time  life is predictable, routine and expected but occasionally life throws us a curve and one of those ‘you can’t make this up’ episodes springs to mind.
My den where I spend most of my day light hours faces a wooded area easily viewed through the double windows in this south facing room.  The driveway curves around the back of the home and does not see much traffic except those who provide some kind of service.  It’s quiet and somewhat secluded.
I was in the den reading, the weather was overcast with scattered rain coming down, not the most inviting time for a caller to appear.  I heard a slight noise and thought at first it was perhaps UPS, but I did not arise to investigate since I felt the visitor would either knock or ring the doorbell.  Neither happened.  This intensified my attention so I went to the door and looked through the blinds but saw no one.  I did not think my hearing was playing tricks on me since there definitely was a sound outside under the carport so I wanted to investigate more closely
At the bottom of the steps leading to the back door landing, I noticed something out of place.  It was a wooden plaque about two feet long and 18 inches wide bearing a routed name.  
Strange I thought but then I remembered that the wind had gotten up and obviously had caused the board to fall to the pavement which was the explanation for the overhead mystery noise.
I decided to retrieve the board and replace it on the outdoor window sill, an area several inches wide at the base of the window frame opening. It was probably six feet from the carport driveway level.
I picked up the board and as I prepared to replace it in its original setting, I was in for a surprise. It was a s – – – e there. (The spelling ** is for the ophidiophobically afflicted  – fear of snakes.)  He had apparently sought a safe and dry resting place from the rain and, minding his own business, he was all curled up for a nap.  He was full grown and perhaps 3 feet long, with two golden, beaded eyes staring at an intruder while using his flickering tongue to determine I don’t know what.  It was a shock to me to come within inches of this work of Mother Nature and for him too I suspect. He had an undistinguished color, mostly black and gray and thought to be ‘harmless’ or at least not poisonous.  His body color scheme did not fit the leave-alone patterns I knew.  Nevertheless he had my adrenaline-ized respect for sure.
I withdrew from his personal space but immediately concluded that the belly crawler was too close to my living quarters door and had to be dispatched, not killed, just removed from the immediate area.   The broom nearby proved to be the needed tool for the job.  I certainly was not intent on hurting him, but used the broom handle to gently push him down from his perch onto the carport.
Evidently he was not too happy about losing his new found sleeping quarters and showed his displeased by his squirming body movements but not in an attack mode because I had given him plenty of room for his escape route to seek other housing accommodations.
But he was heading in the wrong direction, towards the underside of my car which did not meet with my approval so using the broom handle he was directed to bushes and a more appropriate home adjacent to the carport.
I have eliminated vipers before, but now I try a more humane approach to rid them with some exceptions to a more natural area.
Don’t get me wrong, I am no fan of s – – – – s and seeing them sends off internal alarm bells.  I will put it this way, even when one appears on my television screen, I usually change channels.
Since the beginning in Genesis, s- – – s have been on the defensive at least since Adam and Eve.
Some think they had gotten a bum rap.
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Bill Lee, PO Box 128, Hamer, SC 29547